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Cindy took advantage of me."Cindy smacked Craig on the leg and said, "You didn't seem to mind it a few minutes ago, Buddy." No, I didn't mind at all, but I was scared to death," Craig said. "I don't think that doing it is going to change the way I feel, but it certainly gives me more options." In what way?" Cindy asked. "Are you saying you're going to start to have sex with girls now?"Craig looked into Cindy's eyes, smiled and said, "Girl! I don't think I'd ever want to be with anyone except you, Cindy."Tears filled Cindy's eyes and she wiped them away with the back of her hand. She smiled back at Craig and said, "I'll bet all boys say that to the first girl they have sex with." Maybe, Cindy, but I really mean it. I've never been attracted to a girl before, not like I am to you. You're so different from the other girls I know. You never cared about the fact I was gay and that really means something to me. You have no idea how hard it is to come here and have people know that you're. So now I have to decide what I want to do before I see her again. I feel like a moth with a candle. I just know she is going to hurt me if I go but I want to go anyway. But I don't want to go, too. Especially because Ryan is going to be there. I wish I knew what to expect. Maybe I should see if Deanna wants to get together. Oh, but I want to find out what Trish is going to do. I mean part of me doesn't want to know, but part of me can't wait to find out. I just hope it isn't too bad. And I guess there is always the chance that she won't do anything. I guess I'll go. MarchWednesday, March 1, 2000I almost forgot Margaret tonight. I guess I have been leaving work earlier than normal recently like around 6 every night so I can get home at a good time and I...actually, I guess maybe I was just too eager to go make tea. So I was 10 minutes late and when I was driving there I realized I had not told Trish that I wouldn't be home until later and wondering if she would be upset.
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